


Prank War: The Reckoning

by thisiswherethefishlives



Series: Prank War [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Boy Bands, M/M, NSYNC - Freeform, Pranks, Revenge, Skittles, This is ridiculous, bff FitzSimmons, no regrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 07:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2572388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisiswherethefishlives/pseuds/thisiswherethefishlives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow up to Don't Be Silly, Wrap Your Willie. The condoms may be behind them, but Fitz will have his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phase II: Taste The Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She should never have broken their vow of silence, but life in the Playground had been so lonely, and she had been caught up in the fun of their prank of Fitz - it was just like their days in the academy. The reference had just slipped…

Jemma Simmons has always considered herself a good friend. She’s protective, thoughtful, and a good listener to boot. With a heavy heart, she reminds herself again that she’s a good friend as she walks down towards the lab.

Since her return it’s been awkward with Fitz, though honestly that’s a bit of an understatement. It’s been awkward and painful, but they seem to be reaching a new normal. Lately though, Jemma’s been making an extra effort at buttering her friend up with his personal brand of kryptonite - snacks.

Mondays are popcorn days, while Tuesdays are for freshly toasted S’mores in the lab. Chocolate chip cookies help them get through Hump Days and Thursdays are reserved for sandwiches - she still makes his favorite sandwich, and if that isn’t the sign of a good friend she doesn’t know what is. Monday through Thursday she goes all out, so it’s their Fridays that have been set aside as their lazy time. Lazy time means vending machine treats, so with the quarters jingling merrily in her pockets Jemma walks down to the vending machine closest to the lab. Fingers poised over the number pad, she glances over to see what the options are when all the color drains from her face at once.

The entire vending machine is filled with Skittles. Tropical Skittles, Sour Skittles, Wild Berry Skittles… there’s even a row of Skittles Confused which is strange since they were never sold in the States. The whole thing is bizarre and disconcerting. Surely this isn’t tied to the prank they had pulled on Fitz all those weeks ago. When she had mentioned Fitz needing to taste the rainbow she didn’t think anyone was really paying attention. Is it possible that one of the others got the story out of Fitz? The only one that could have possibly gotten the whole story is Mack, but she can’t imagine that the mechanic would do something like this. If he knew about The Event of ‘09 he would know how traumatic it had been for Fitz - for both of them, really. She should never have broken their vow of silence, but life in the Playground had been so lonely, and she had been caught up in the fun of their prank of Fitz - it was just like their days in the academy. The reference had just slipped…

Glancing down at her watch, she figures that she had just enough time to grab snacks from the vending machine two halls over. Running down the halls she can’t help but make a mental inventory of who could possibly have it out for Fitz. It would have to be one of the four from the condom prank. Mack was immediately discounted - the man was disgustingly gone on Fitz. His heart-eyes were adorable and it was obvious that he would never purposely hurt his boyfriend. The others though? This is something they could have done easily.

With a sigh of relief as the vending machines come into view, Jemma skids to a full stop and gets her quarters back out only to let out a pained groan as she falls to her knees in defeat.

Again. Again with the Skittles! What kind of sick person would-

"You can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a woman’s man - no time to talk. Music louuuuud, and wome-" Hunter’s singing is cut off abruptly as he takes in Simmons as she sits prone on the floor. “Oh… Simmons. Fancy seeing you here.”

"Hunter. Is this your doing? Did you do this?! Why?" Banging her forehead against the vending machine is looking more and more like the best option.

"Sorry Love, but what are you going on about? I’m many things, but I am not in charge of the vending machines." Stepping in for a closer look the man lets out an impressed whistle, "well, somebody likes Skittles, eh?"

Jemma can’t help the indignant squawk at Hunter’s nonchalance. Her voice rising to a shrill level, she starts feeding her quarters into the machine at a manic pace.

"It’s not funny, Hunter - it. isn’t. funny. at. all. Do you know who doesn’t like Skittles, Hunter?! Do you?! Fitz doesn’t like Skittles and this - this will break him. We need to - to get them out. Fitz can’t see this." She feels crazed, and can only imagine what she looks like to the merc standing by her side. "Help me, damnit. Give me your money. Now."

"Alright, alright, calm your horses. You could have just asked, you know"

Standing there together, they manage to feed over twenty dollars of quarters and singles into the machine. Their pile of Skittles has been growing at an impressive rate when Agent Koenig joins them in front of the machine with a pleased grin on his face.

"Wow! Fitz and Mack were so sure that filling the vending machines with Skittles would boost team morale, but I didn’t believe it. It looks like they were right! Personally, I’m more of a fan of Starbursts, but who am I to fight the tides of change?"

Stepping up to buy himself a bag of Skittles, he throws them a nod and heads on down the hall to go about his day, leaving a bewildered pair behind him.

"Um, Simmons, I thought you said that Fitz hated Skittles."

"Yes. I did."

"So, this might be a dumb question, but why would he fill the vending machines with - wait, where are you going?"

With a toss of her hair, Jemma hurries back towards the lab.

"I’m going to get to the bottom of this."

As she approaches the lab doors she can hear the two of them laughing, and it’s at that point that it truly clicks.

"Oh, oh no. Mack, look at her sad little face. Oh, yes! That’s a great shot - print that one!"

Their giggles come to a complete halt when she steps into the room, but the damage has been done. Horrible, unflattering pictures of her face have been hung around the lab and Fitz is obviously hiding more shots behind his back. Upon closer inspection, it’s clear that they had rigged a series of cameras within the vending machines. It would have been brilliant had it not been so horrible.

"Hello, boys. I see that you’ve been busy. Since when do you ask Agent Koenig to stock Skittles, Fitz?" Under her gaze she can see him struggle to keep the laughter at bay. If she wasn’t so annoyed she would be thrilled to have him standing in front of her being so openly happy.

"Oh, Jemma. Now that I’m a taken man I’ve realized the importance of compromise. You opened my eyes to the importance of uh - um… tasting the rainbow in the bedroom, so, um…"

Mack steps over to wrap his arms around her friend’s shoulders, placing a sweet kiss to the top of his head.

"We wanted to thank you properly, and really, when we put our heads together this was the best way. A little sugar for the sweetness you brought us."

Jemma could feel her ire shift into a warm, soft feeling in the middle of her chest. They may have made her look like an idiot, but at the end of the day seeing Fitz this happy was worth it for a good prank. Fitz is, after all, still her best friend and Mack makes him happy - makes him better in ways that she can’t. She isn’t crying - really, she isn’t. It’s just dust, or allergies, or something along those lines. She definitely isn’t crying.

She still isn’t crying when Fitz steps up and wraps his arms around her. His arms shake slightly, and his voice is a little watery when he leans closer to whisper into her ear.

"Thank you. I saw how you tried to get rid of the Skittles for me. You’re a good friend, Jemma Simmons. You’re my best friend."

Tightening her arms around Fitz in return, she can’t help but laugh. She hasn’t felt this light in months.

"I understand the why, but how did you ever manage to convince Koenig to order that many Skittles?"

Mack barks a laugh at her question. “C’mon, Simmons. Let the man have some secrets.”

"Yes, please. It’s better you don’t know." Fitz retorts as he disentangles from the hug so that he can lean back into Mack’s arms.

Rolling her eyes, she can’t help the evil glint that comes to her eyes as she regards the couple before her.

"Alright, I’ll let you keep your secrets, but only on one condition." Squaring her shoulders and adopting her take-no-prisoners Hydra persona once more, she levels them a serious glare. "I want in when you prank the others."

Fitz’s grin turns predatory as he turns to Mack, the taller man nodding in agreement before they turn back to her.

"We thought you would never ask." Fitz begins as he waves her over to a series of binders. Grabbing the binder labeled ‘Phase III’ he begins flipping through page-by-page. "We started Phase I ages ago, and with your help we’re ready to move forward to the next. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, of course, is right here. Couldn’t do it without you, Simmons."

With a final nod of the head, she turns her attention to the binder and starts to take it all in. It feels so natural and yet so new to be here in the lab with her friends. Fitz-Simmons reunited once again with a common goal. Between the three of them, there’s only one thing for certain - this is going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, just to clarify, it is not a mistake - Phase II is the first chapter. It's all good.


	2. Phase III: It Might Sound Crazy, But It Ain’t No Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If he was right about this - yup, at least three visible recording devices that he can see with just a quick sweep. Obviously, if the mastermind behind this was thorough, the three would be just the tip of the iceberg.
> 
> Glaring into the closest camera’s lens, he straightens his spine and takes a deep breath.
> 
> "Fitz, for some reason I have a feeling that you’re behind this. So. This one’s for you."

Trip has never felt as defeated as he does now. He’s tried everything: attempted to track down Koenig, begged Mack to jimmy the lock - Hell, he had even suggested a team movie night just to avoid the inevitable. He’s tried his damndest, but the fact remains - it’s been five hours and he’s still locked out of his room.

He’s not sure which of the geniuses (and he means that literally) decided to change the lock codes in the middle of the weekend, but he appears to be the only one having an issue. It’s just wrong. He had plans.

Heavy footsteps coming down the hall drag him from his misery. He can’t help but take hope as Mack and Fitz come into view - who better than the resident engineer and mechanic to figure out how to get him into this room?

"Heeeey, Mack! Fitz! Just the two dudes I wanted to see."

It’s only after he’s opened his big mouth that he takes the couple in. They both look completely debauched - Fitz’s lips are swollen and red, and Mack looks like he buttoned his shirt in the dark. They look wrinkled, and breathless, and disgustingly in love. Trip can’t stop himself from feeling guilty - it’s obvious that he’s interrupted them on their date night if their clasped hands and heart-eyes are any indication.

"I, uh, really don’t want to interrupt your night, but I need your help. I’ve been locked out of my room for hours, and I need to get in there. Do me a solid, you guys. I can’t sleep without my pillow, and you do not want to see me without a solid eight hours."

Mack’s sympathetic smile isn’t promising, but Trip has always strived to be an optimist.

"Sorry man, I don’t wanna make it tough, but I need to get my man alone like… five minutes ago." The tall man’s face is ridiculously suggestive as he wraps an arm around his boyfriend’s waist.

Fitz’s face flushes prettily at Mack’s words, and the loud slap to the taller man’s chest makes it clear that he’s embarrassed by the other man’s forwardness.

"Now, dear, you know that I live for you and me, but if you keep this up I might come to see that life would be much better once you’re gone.”

Trip can’t help but wince on Mack’s behalf, because the engineer is clearly taking no prisoners tonight. Coughing awkwardly he tries to get their focus off of each other and back onto his predicament.

"Seriously, guys, I don’t know what’s up with my door but if you could just help me, I would really appreciate - WAIT! Don’t you walk away from me. Mack! Mack, you get back here man, I thought we were friends! And Fitz, c’mon man, you know I’ve always got your back. Don’t leave me like this!"

"Yeah, yeah, Trip. We know," Mack throws over his shoulder, "you may hate us but it ain’t no lie, baby - bye, bye, bye."

"Don’t you listen to him, Trip, I believe in you! We’re leavin’ you behind, and it may sound crazy, but I know you can do this on your own." With a final wink, Fitz leads the other man into his own room - slamming the door behind them as Trip settles down for a long, uncomfortable night on the floor."

:: WOAH IT’S A SCENE CHANGE ::

The second that the door closes behind them Fitz settles in front of his computer, waking the monitor up to reveal multiple windows monitoring the action in front of Trip’s bedroom door. Clicking the button to accept a video conference with Simmons, the three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents share an awkward smile before assessing the state of the mission.

"Fitz, I’ve been watching Trip for hours and I don’t think we’ve been obvious enough. Poor Trip looks miserable!"

"Yes, yes, I know, Jemma… but if we spell it out for him it will completely undermine the entire point of the prank."

Mack shifts closer to start massaging the tension out of Fitz’s shoulders before putting in his two cents.

"Jemma, did it look like any light bulbs went off when we were throwing out the lyrics? Maybe we’re still in the game."

"I don’t know boys, it just seemed to make Trip slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps this wasn’t the best plan? Now, Fitz, don’t look at me like that! Basing the entire prank off of a single throw away comment doesn’t exactly seem to be paying off right now."

"But, but… Jemma. It’s wasn’t just a throw away comment," Fitz pouts before continuing, "it was the ultimate throw away comment! How many field agents can claim to have been in an NSYNC cover band?! He knows all of the dances and all of the lyrics! How could we not exploit this?”

"Yeah, but babe, I think Jemma might be onto something. I don’t think we’ve given Trip enough information to figure out how to unlock his door… we can still save the prank, we just need to figure out how."

Before they can try to salvage the plan, Simmons pipes up from her console.

"Hold on, are you two picking up that racket on your mics?"

Fitz immediately moves to turn up the volume, but one glance at the video screen has him placing the source of the off-pitch screeching.

"Oh dear, I thought that Hunter was off base for the night," Simmons shakes her head with a little laugh, "it appears that he brought the bar home with him instead."

Hunter, a bottle of beer clenched in each hand, maneuvers down the hall singing at the top of his lungs. Despite the garbled lyrics and slightly wobbly stance, the mercenary still puts on quite the entertaining performance straight out of Saturday Night Fever. He manages to somehow completely miss Trip sprawled on the floor, but the same can’t be said for Trip.

The camera and mic pick up Trip laughing into his hand as he watches the other man thrust and twirl down the hallway. They also clearly pick up the moment that Hunter’s performance unlocks Trip’s door. The click of the lock is audible over the caterwauling and Trip is on his feet in an instant, hand on the doorknob just a second after the door’s locking mechanism resets itself.

As Trip starts angrily kicking the door, the three agents let the scenario sink in.

"We’re all thinking the same thing right now, right?"

"Yes, Fitz." Mack and Simmons say in unison.

"So we agree - for now, we wait."

:: WOAH IT’S A SCENE CHANGE ::

Now, it’s been a long day, but it hasn’t been long enough for Trip to be seeing things. He could swear that the door unlocked for just a second there - he saw the green light, and he heard the click of the lock itself. The door had definitely unlocked itself - the question is, why?

The door had been locked for hours - the only think that was different was Hunter. Hunter, and his tone deaf song and dance routine. At that thought, everything starts to fall into place. If he was right about this - yup, at least three visible recording devices that he can see with just a quick sweep. Obviously, if the mastermind behind this was thorough, the three would be just the tip of the iceberg.

Glaring into the closest camera’s lens, he straightens his spine and takes a deep breath.

"Fitz, for some reason I have a feeling that you’re behind this. So. This one’s for you."

Backing up to stand in position across from the door and stretching quickly to limber up after the hours spent on the floor, Trip braces himself. With a final nod for the cameras he goes back to his boy band tribute days. Expertly executed turns and dips, and lyrics sung perfectly, he only has to perform through the first chorus of “Bye Bye Bye” before the door once again unlocks.

This time, Trip is ready. Rushing to the door, he’s able to turn the handle and prop the door open with his foot before it locks him out yet again. With a loud cheer of victory, he can’t help but turn to the camera that’s mounted along the door’s frame, pointing into the lens with glee.

"Yeah! In your face! You don’t come at me with NSYNC - you don’t come at me at all because I will always win!"

Taking off both of his shoes and using one to prop the door open, he takes advantage of the slide of his socks against the linoleum as he puts his all into a full NSYNC medley.

He’s in the middle of an admittedly sexy vocal run, transitioning from “I Want You Back” into “Gone” when the polite clapping registers. Snapping to attention, he can feel the heat rising to his cheeks as Coulson keeps up the applause.

"Very impressive, Agent Triplett. I’ve always been partial to 98° myself."

With a nod, Coulson carries on down the hall humming quietly to himself, leaving Trip alone to stew in his mild embarrassment. He grudgingly has to admit that Fitz doesn’t half-ass his pranks. Chuckling to himself, he carefully lets himself into his room making sure to take his shoes in with him. It’s been a long day, and the thought of passing out in his bed is the only thing keeping him on his feet at this point. He reaches over to flick on the lights before pulling his shirt off.

In hindsight, it might have been that small movement of removing his shirt. It could have been the light turning on. Honestly, in hindsight it could have been any of a number of things, but this isn’t hindsight. This is a life-sized cardboard cutout of Justin Timberlake complete with glowing red eyes and the dulcet melody of “This I Promise You” piping from the cutout as Trip screams bloody murder.

:: WOAH IT’S A SCENE CHANGE ::

Fitz can’t help but smirk as they play Trip’s scream for the fifth time.

"Seriously, Jemma, look at his face! This is so much better than what we had originally anticipated!"

Despite her put-upon sigh, it’s obvious that Fitz is not the only one enjoying the fruits of their labor. It’s made slightly more obvious when she goes to replay the clip for a sixth time.

"Alright you two," Mack begins, "Phase III is now complete. I think that this is the perfect opportunity to start in on Phase IV."

With a quirk of the mouth, Fitz leans forward towards the computer screen with a conspiratorial wink.

"My dearest Simmons, what I believe my better half is trying to… what he’s trying - what he means is that we should take the rest of the night off. And maybe tomorrow. Yes. Let’s take off and regroup Tuesday - that should give us plenty of time to celebrate and rest up before we, uh, tackle the next stage."

"Fair enough, boys," Simmons says with a jaunty salute, "try to get some sleep tonight, alright?”

"Yes, yes, alright. Good night!"

Signing off from the video stream and shutting down the computer, Fitz leans back into the taller mans arms.

"What do you say we throw caution to the wind and stay up all night celebrating?"

With a waggling eyebrow, Mack spins the smaller man around before hoisting him up so that his legs automatically wrap around his waist.

"I don’t know if anyone’s told you think before Turbo," he intones as his hands move down to cup the other mans ass, taking the opportunity to squeeze firmly, "you come up with some pretty brilliant ideas in that head of yours."

Fitz hums thoughtfully as he wraps his arms around Mack’s neck, stroking his hands over his skin before leaning in for a firm, lusty kiss.

"Nope," he replies, tightening his legs ever so slightly, "that’s the first I’ve heard of my brilliance. You should tell me more."

Mack spends the rest of the night doing exactly that and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two pranks down, two to go. Bwahahahahaha.


End file.
